You have found someone whose travel plans overlap with yours. Same city, similar dates, a profile that makes you think you would get along. Now comes the part many people find hardest: the first message. It does not need to be clever or long. It needs to give the other person a reason to reply and something easy to reply to.
Why the first message matters so much
People who are travelling, or planning a trip, are busy. They are reading timetables, checking accommodation and often receiving several messages at once. A first message is judged in a few seconds. If it looks like it could have been sent to anyone, it usually gets the response that deserves: none. If it shows you actually read their profile and have a concrete idea, it stands out.
The good news is that a strong first message is not a talent. It is a simple structure you can learn.
A simple structure that works
Most good first messages contain three things:
- A personal detail. Mention something specific from their profile: a city they are visiting, a hobby, a photo from a hike, a language they speak.
- A shared point. Say where your plans overlap. "I'll be in Lisbon the same week" is more useful than any compliment.
- An easy question. End with one question that is simple to answer and keeps things moving.
Put together, it can be as short as this: "Hi Ana, I saw you'll be in Lisbon in early May. I'm there the same week and planning a day trip to Sintra. Have you been before, or is it on your list too?" It is friendly, specific, and gives her an obvious way to reply.
What works
Being specific. "Your photo from the Lycian Way looks amazing, which part did you walk?" invites a real answer. "Nice photos" does not.
Suggesting something concrete but light. Coffee at a market, a walking tour, a sunset viewpoint. Low-pressure plans in public places are easy to say yes to, and they are also the safest way to meet someone new.
Writing like yourself. A natural, relaxed tone builds more trust than a polished speech. If you are a little shy, it is fine to say so.
Respecting their language. If their profile shows they prefer another language, a greeting in it is a kind touch, even if you continue in English.
Keeping it short. Three or four sentences is plenty. You are opening a conversation, not writing a cover letter.
What doesn't work
Copy-paste openers. "Hey, how are you?" sent to twenty people is easy to spot and easy to ignore.
Comments about appearance only. A message that only talks about how someone looks puts many people off, especially on a site about travelling together. Talk about plans and interests instead.
Pushing for private contact straight away. Asking for a phone number or social media in the first message feels rushed. Keep chatting on the site until you both feel comfortable; it also lets you use blocking and reporting if needed.
Big plans too soon. Proposing to share a room or a week-long road trip before you have exchanged ten messages is too much. Start small and build from there.
Long life stories. Save the details for later. A wall of text is hard to answer.
If they don't reply
Silence is not always rejection. People travel through areas with poor signal, change plans or simply forget to answer. One polite follow-up after a few days is fine: "Hi again, still keen on that Sintra day if your plans allow." After that, let it go. Sending message after message rarely changes anything and can make the other person uncomfortable.
Reading the replies you get
A good reply usually answers your question and adds something of their own. That is a sign of genuine interest. Be careful if someone moves very quickly to money, asks you to switch to another app immediately or tells a story that keeps changing. Those are signals to slow down. Checking whether a profile is verified also helps you know who you are talking to before you make plans.
From message to meeting
When the conversation flows, suggest a first meeting that is short, public and easy to leave: a coffee, a museum visit or a walk through the old town. Agree on the time and place in writing, tell a friend where you will be, and arrange your own way there and back. If it goes well, you can plan something bigger together next.
The short version
Read their profile, mention one specific thing, point out where your plans overlap and ask one easy question. Keep it short, keep it friendly and keep it on the site at first. Most good travel friendships start with a message like that.
